For those who have an original character, your problem might be that your character is based off of you.
Every writer puts a bit of him or herself into a character. How else would we be able to write emotions and reactions realistically? It’s because we need to put ourselves in our character’s shoes and try to understand how that character would act in such a situation. (In this way, however, one could argue that the writer doesn’t influence the character, but rather the character influences the writer. Just something to chew on.) However, there are some writers who take their entire personality and shove it into someone with a different appearance. (Or, perhaps, the same appearance.) Theoretically, this wouldn’t be a problem, right?
Let me explain to you why it’s a huge problem.
Experienced writers can tell with ease when someone comes along with a character that’s based entirely off the writer. It doesn’t take long at all for it to happen. Sometimes, it takes just an introduction post to figure it out. Now, exactly how is it so easy? It’s because these characters aren’t characters. They’re thoughts. They’re self-projection into a story. It’s what the writer would say, what they would do and think. The thing about this is, is that while each person is unique, characters based off writers are incredibly boring in personality, because they’re just like every other self-insert character out there. Characters are thoughtfully planned out. They have a downfall. They have hopes and fears and some part of their personality impacts the plot in some way. But a character based off the writer simply has a generic personality that wasn’t created for the plot. It was created solely for the writer to exist in a world where they could interact with the characters they wish they could meet in real life.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with this. I wish I could meet Dean Winchester, too. And if someone allowed me to, I’d make a banging hot dude with the name Amadeus and send him after Castiel and boom. Sex everywhere. But that’s not how it works. Because people who base their characters off themselves have one downfall: They take things too personally. They start to get upset when role plays drop. They take insults from one character to theirs too seriously. Why?
Because their characters are based off of them, so the character validates that the writer is valuable.
And it’s scary for some role players to see these characters, because red flags go up. They have to walk on eggshells or else the self-insertion writer starts taking things too personally and starts getting upset over every wrong done to their character. And other writers can’t help it: They immediately start to dislike this character because they want nothing to do with the drama of the writer’s attachment to it. It creates a vicious cycle. The writer seeks more people to role play with who are eager to accept others in, but then quickly realize that this is a self-insertion character. To avoid the drama, they stop role playing. The writer becomes desperate and wonders why no one wants to role play with them. They take it as a personal attack; because no one loves their character, then people must not love the writer, either.
So, what about the remedy?
Remember, your character does not validate your self-worth. Your character is a tool. You use your character. You abuse them and hurt them and then cradle them so they get back up and keep on fighting. Would you do that to yourself? No. If you do, then you’re a sick bastard and I need to give you my phone number so we can have some awesome kinky sex.
Take your character and look at ways that you can alter their personality. Take a look a Greek tragedies and copy some of the character development strategies there. Perhaps look at famous books and cartoons and TV shows. Look at the way the characters are developed. Choose one that’s unique and try to mimic that style. Not the personality so much, but the style. Dean Winchester, for example, forces his strength through an image that he projects, but he’s weak on the inside. His strength? His sense of humor and his careless attitude. His weakness? His brother. Your character could be the same way, but their strength may be their supposed heartlessness whereas their weakness may be that they are secretly mourning over the loss of their left nut after testicular cancer.
No. I’m not joking.
Once your character becomes less and less like you, you stop getting so attached, and there’s less drama. More people will role play with you. They will absolutely adore you and your character.
Also, don’t only do romance-based role plays. Romance isn’t the only thing in the world, and it’s not what validates your character. They are a badass in some way or another. Prove it.
If you play a canon character, your problem may be that you don’t play the character correctly.
People assume that someone who plays a canon is going to do it perfectly. That’s stupid. Everyone has a different interpretation of a character. But to completely take a character’s personality and turn it around is to kick yourself in the ass when it comes to role plays. Nothing is more obnoxious than seeing someone play Gandalf as a pimp. (Actually, that’d be fucking hilarious. If you do that, let me get you my number so we can have some awesome wizard sex.)
So, what about the remedy?
Do research on your character and try to better understand their speech habits. Understand their thought processes. Try to do some head canons. If you still can’t grasp their personality, then perhaps it’s best to add a disclaimer to your role play: Your character is now AU, because they have an entirely different personality. That way, people are more accepting of the fact that you play a canon character differently, and they’re not as surprised when they see that Gandalf’s a pimp and Dumbledore’s his prostitute.
If you play either a canon or an original character (or perhaps both), then your problem might be that you don’t understand role playing etiquette.
This isn’t to say that you’re an asshole. It just means that you’re doing something that isn’t polite, and you just don’t know that it’s not polite. Well, allow for this to be your notification. Let’s start by looking over three terms that everyone should know.
Godmodding – To make your character powerful and awesome and perfect in every way. It also means to have your character dodge attacks all the time (or even most of the time) and make them endure very little damage during battle.
Power playing – To take control of another person’s character, even in minor situations (i.e., “his character grabbed my character’s wrist”). To assume that one of your character’s attack hits another character’s.
Nagging – AKA pestering, bothering, poking, etc., etc. To ask for a response. To send several messages to try to get a role player’s attention.
If you do any of these, you’re not considering your fellow role player. I’ve had all of this done to me before, and it’s annoying and just plain rude. (Particularly the last.)
So, what about the remedy?
If you godmod, just stop it. Stop it now. Your character is not perfect, and they can be hit. The only reason you should be godmodding is if you’re playing an awesome Archangel, or even God. But you still have to give them some weaknesses here and there.
Power-playing should only be done during smut, and in very minor ways. (Mentioning another character’s moans, or – during violent sex – talking about a slap hitting, for example.) Don’t do it in any other circumstance.
Now, the nagging. This is a serious offense in the book of Amadeus. Keep in mind that there’s a difference between “nagging” and “informing.” To tell someone, “Hey, I replied” is not the same as, “Can you please post?” It makes you sound impatient and needy when you do that. Now, to be fair, some people need to be reminded. I know I do all the time. So the best way to go about doing it?
Send them a message of some sort. Make it polite and informative. Don’t ask for anything. Just let them know you posted, and give them a link. Something like this is always pleasant for me to read. “Hey, I saw you were online and posting. If you didn’t see that I’d replied, here’s the link. Just let me know if you need a break, though. I understand. c:” Add a smiley face, too, dammit. That always lets them know you ain’t even trippin’. If they don’t reply, then wait until the next day. Send them another message. “I don’t know if my message got eaten, but I’m gonna go ahead and send another reminder, just in case. I hope I’m not being annoying. Here’s the link to my response. Thanks. c:” Don’t. Forget. The. Smiley. It’s important. If they still don’t reply, wait another day. On the third day, send another message. “Hey, I sent two messages, and I just wanted to make extra sure that you got them. Here’s the link to my reply.” At this point, a smiley isn’t necessary. You can add one, but you don’t have to. (Yes, dammit, smileys are serious business.) If they don’t reply after that, then don’t bother them about a reply for that thread again. If you still want to role play with them, initiate another one or wait until they ask if anyone’s available to role play. Feel free to respond to open role plays.
NEVER. NEVER NEVER NEVER send more than one message a day to remind them about a post unless they explicitly ask you to. And never ask for a response. It’s rude.
